Says Who?!!!
"Who says- I can't wear my converse with my dress,
Now baby that's just me!
Who said I can't be single and have to go out and mingle, baby that's just me.
Some may say, I need to be afraid of losing everything,
Because of where I had my start and where I made my name
But everything the same, in the la la land machine..." -Demi Lovato
I spend an insane amount of time (that I don’t have) browsing through social media and every single day I find something that pisses me off. Now, I don’t mean post that make me question some peoples moral integrity or those stupid fight videos courtesy of World Star- but the post where people seem to have their lives all the way together. Perfect job. Perfect house. Perfect car. Perfect children. Perfect relationship. Like really, I get so pissed off because I am comparing their life to mines! Here is where I need to PUMP THE BRAKES on my no-car-having-bicycle-riding-ass. For the most part- I know these people. I know their so-called perfect job is running them ragged. I know their perfect house is a mess besides the one corner all their Instagram photos happen. I know that shiny car doesn’t have gas in it. I know their children are disrespectful and I know their relationship is hanging by a thread. If I know all these things, why do I keep finding myself so jealous?
Here’s the thing: I’m so busy worrying about what their life LOOKS and SEEMS to be, rather than the REALITY of the situation. As humans, we all want the finer things in life and as egotistical as we are- we want to show it off also. I’m not going to point fingers as if I’m not doing the same damn thing! Five weeks ago I posted a picture on Instagram showing off a new pair of heels I purchased, then I put them back in the box. Five weeks later, where are those shoes? In the box, in the store bag, in the corner of my bedroom. Do you see the problem? It seems like I just bought the shoes in order to brag about having them on social media. Okay, not really- I just haven’t had an occasion to wear them yet. But it still doesn’t take away from the fact that I was so excited to show them off.
So the point is, in trying to compare myself and be like my more fashionable friends and acquaintances- I spent money I did not have on shoes I do not need for places I am most likely not going. In trying to essentially "Keep up with the Jones," or better yet- to speak to my generation, "Keeping up with the Kardashians-" I find myself with my shoes and my homebody self.
Showing off what you are proud of is not a problem but being jealous of someone else because they have something you don’t- is! If you do not know the work and struggle another person went through to get what they have, you have to right to hate on them. Like the meme that occasionally circulates and Facebook and Instagram: "You have the same hours a day as Beyoncé!" If that doesn’t speak volumes to you, then I don’t know what will. We are all capable of working towards a goal and achieving it if we are persistent. If you want it and don’t have it, then I guess it isn’t that important. And please believe as I am writing this for you, it is also a motivation for myself because if there is something i need to stop doing- is comparing myself to others!!!
You have to have a big house by a certain age!
You have to have this new car!
You have to look flawless 24/7!
Says who?
Whoever says I or anyone else should: please feel free to purchase my 2-story pent house in Manhattan, my 1956 Jaguar Roadster, and hire a team of stylist and makeup artist to fix me up every single day for the rest of my life!
... I'll wait! ... I didnt think so!
So to my gorgeous gals and stunning studs, enjoy life at your own pace. Don’t get so hooked on what other people are doing that you miss opportunities for you to do great for yourself. Unfortunately for all of us- there’s always going to be at least 1 person doing better than us and that’s something we cannot change. So when you feel pressured to have everything together because your neighbor or friends do- ask them, "Says who?!!"
As always, stay BEAUTIFUL inside, outside, sideways, and always!