Who You Are!
“Brown skin,
You know I love your brown skin.
I can’t tell where yours begins-
I can’t tell where mine ends..." - India Arie, Brown Skin
Lately, I have been having a lot of problems with my skin- especially my face. It’s been extremely dry and oily at the same time. I’m thinking to myself- how the hell does this even happen? Like my forehead is flaking and my nose, chin, and cheeks are shinier than Vaseline mixed with a gold powder cheek highlighter. Yes, it's bad. Here's the thing though- I love my skin, but I haven’t been taking care of it. I have picked up my old bad habits of drinking massive amounts of soda and my favorite drink: Arizona green tea. Translation: caffeine overload. I have also been eating terribly. (Let’s be honest about the food though. It's approaching that time of month and I'm feeling as though I need to store carbs for my hibernation, but I digress.) However, in moderation- occasionally consuming unhealthy food is fine. If I want my skin to repair itself, I have to take the proper steps in ensuring its health. May it be broken out or surprisingly flawless (in my opinion), I love my skin! Every inch of it!!
So in the same context of loving ones skin, I came across this disturbing image while surfing my social media. It was of an African-American girl who felt the need to bleach her skin several shades lighter than her natural complexion. Now, I’m not judging her decision to do that because everyone is entitled to do what they feel is right for them. This being said, she then went on to describe how now she feels worthy of attention, boys like her better with her skin lighter, everyone else who remains dark is undesirable, and they shouldn’t even have children because they will be "tar babies." (First of all, her original skin-tone is dark, so most likely her future children will be just that and not what she’s changed herself to be.) While the topic of the photo isn’t news to me- this particular one broke my heart. I found the caption with the picture to be utterly atrocious- not because I too, am a black woman, but because I am a woman in general! Now, I’m not 100% sure of the validity of the statements accompanying the picture, but its making its rounds on social media and impressionable young girls (and guys) are seeing it and possibly believing that it’s the direction they should follow.
Personally, I still struggle with self-image but I’ve become stronger in my resolve to love myself. This does not mean that others may have the strength that I’ve worked towards because it’s a constant uphill battle. The self-loathing and the hate being spewed in the image and its caption is absolutely sad. Again, I am not judging the girls decision but impressing her disdain to the masses is unacceptable. This isn’t to take away from her right to freedom of speech and expression, but I cannot help but wonder at the type of people she is surrounded by. This is a darkness from the soul that seems to have never been taught the value of self-worth!
To the younger generation immersed in a society of likes, adds, follow-backs, advertisements, and social media validation- it is important to understand that the most important opinion of yourself- should be from yourself! At the end of the day someone else’s opinion of you isn’t going to stop the world from rotating. If its positive feedback, all the better. If its negative feedback- I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, and I will say it again: Someone’s negative comments about you is only a reflection of how they see themselves. If they do not like themselves, they aren’t able to truly appreciate what makes another person beautiful and unique. Do not give a negative person the satisfaction of being riled up by their foolishness. Their opinion does nothing for you, so continue to hold your head up high. After all, you don’t want your crown to fall off!
So if you haven’t heard it yet today, hear it here: You are absolutely FABULOUS! You are truly unique and there isn’t another person on this planet that can be you! So straighten up your posture, put your chin up, flip your hair or adjust your bowtie, put your best foot forward and go forth with the light and positivity in your soul. You are wonderfully made and anyone who has something different to say can proceed to take a number and get in line with the other people waiting for you to give a shit! The best thing you can do is let a negative person be themselves. Say nothing and keep it classy! Everyone else will see who they truly are and you will come out on top.
I know that it is easier said than done, but once you start caring about your own positive opinion of yourself, you will learn to embrace your every imperfection. Even if the girl in the photo felt pushed to potentially harm herself physically- there is no need to follow that extreme. However at the end of the day, do what you believe is good for you. Do not do it based on someone else’s opinion. Besides, if we were all perfect and the same- then we'd be robots and life would be dull.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” (Dr. Seuss) No truer words have been spoken on the subject of self-image. Not for other, you’ve gotten this far, only you can say WHO YOU ARE!
As always, stay BEAUTIFUL inside, outside, sideways, and always!!!