When it's Time to "Let It Go!"
Before we begin, let’s set the scene:
You are in a gondola, drifting down the scenic route of the Seine River through the heart of Paris- taking a sip of wine and looking your loved one in the eye over the rim of your glass. You are positively enamored with their beautiful eyes, warm smile, and inviting body-language… But there it is! In the pit of your soul- a feeling of utter doom… And here you are back to the reality of your couch with the drink you spilled in your lap because you drifted off while day-dreaming about the one you think you love.
So, as much as we would like to deny this truth: There is always that one person who will always have our hearts. He or she is more than welcomed back into our emotions- no matter what had previously transpired. We know that they aren’t good for our well-being, but the heart wants what it wants... Unfortunately.
So the question is: When is it time to “let it go?” [Insert: "Frozen" Theme Song]
When a relationship ends, the pain feels real. A broken heart, figuratively- can feel as though it is broken, literally. The physical pain, the emptiness in our souls, and the turmoil in the pits of our stomachs can only be quelled by the forgiveness or return of the person who held our heart in the first place. Thus getting into the habits of making up to break up over and over again with the same person. This is unhealthy. So why do we continue to do it?
Humans are creatures of habit, I suppose. Habits, especially bad one, become addictions. Addictions lead to nothing except destruction! So let’s get into the habit of loving ourselves enough to say “No!” No to the return of someone who isn’t good for us. No to the lust that clouds our judgment, and no to guilt we carry around!
I recently spent the day with the man who was my first true love. While most women won’t make it a habit to hang out with their exes, mines happens to be one of the best male friends that I have ever had. We may not be together anymore, but I would trust him with my life! I have known him for 8 years. Four of those years were spent in a turbulent relationship. The highs were in the stratosphere, but the lows were hell! Yet I could never imagine myself being truly happy with another person- even when I was with another person. I constantly felt as if I owed it to myself and to him to rekindle the feelings that we had when we first met. But see? That is the problem. One cannot persist with the same action and hope for a different outcome. Our time had come to end, but we were dragging our feet with it.
I had started to feel guilty because I would tell him about other men that I was interested in. He was always so genuinely encouraging of me to find happiness, while he was dealing with some issues that you wouldn’t believe! (Let me just reiterate, getting into habits with some people, is very dangerous! Especially emotionally!) However, he let me know that there was someone he was interested in also. Several things passed through my mind when he said this:
1) Jealousy- In all honesty and probably cockiness- I don’t get jealous, because I am confident that my man will return home to me at the end of the day with his integrity intact.
2) Relief- Do not think less of me because I felt this way. I felt relieved because it was like a weight finally being lifted off our shoulders. And honestly, it could’ve just been me, but I felt as though he felt relieved that I wasn’t going to go crazy on him.
This brings me back to the question: When is it time to let it go? For us: It was the moment he admitted to wanting someone else. I no longer have to censor my feelings, and he can move on with his emotions and build up a HEALTHY connection with another person. Don’t get me wrong, I will always love him, but now I am (emotionally) FREE to fall “in” love with whoever was truly meant to have my heart. In the words of Rihanna’s tattoo: “Never a failure, Always a lesson!”
So as its Valentine’s Day, consider letting go of the emotional baggage and freeing yourself to meet someone new or to even find happiness in yourself!
As always, Stay BEAUTIFUL inside, outside, sideways, and always!